


Bringing It Home

by Living_Free



Series: Slip and Slide [41]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Bruce beats the evil prick's ass, Crack, Dick's cotton candy and chocolate magical powers, Dick's ultimate form, Drama, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Jason causes chaos, M/M, NOTHING HAPPENS THO, Tim does a smidge of plotting, batbros, damian being adorable, tw: threats of abduction and non-con, warning: heavy squee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 10:30:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19355203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Bruce endures a spot of abduction.Damain indulges in a bit of destruction.Tim goads Dick into attaining his final form,and Dick's love reaches lengths far beyond the norm.





	Bringing It Home

The Justice League Watchtower was in a tizzy. That is to say, the occupants were in a tizzy - not the structure itself. The Watchtower continued its orbit as it usually did, peaceably and with great presence, the metal catching the rays of sunlight and gleaming magnificently as a beacon of hope and good over a planet that needed just such an image.

But enough of my poetry. Back to the tizzy.

Currently in a tizzy, we join the Wayne children and their lovable uncle Clark, a.k.a. Superman. The reason for said tizziness was due to the abduction of one Bruce Wayne, a.k.a. Batman, by the literal embodiment of evil.

No, not Luthor.

The forces of hell had experienced a deep and fractitious divide, with Damian's grandmother (not Martha Wayne, the other one) heading the Loyalist camapign, and General Nox Vicisis heading the Demon Expansonary Force, who wanted to claim earth and spread their fiery, horrible, dominion by enslaving humans.

General Nox had thus invaded Earth, and had been rather taken with the dark, angsty figure of the Batman. How well he fought! Such gravitas he had! Deciding that he would make an excellent mate, Nox had abducted Bruce from the battle, and was now holding him in a kinky bedchamber, confident that the Bat would melt into his arms.

He could wait. After all, he had eternity.

The Bat-children had been inconsolable (Dick, Damian, and Tim), and filled with rage (Cass and Jason). What united them was their single minded dedication in getting their father back. They were joined in this by one Selina Kyle, who loudly proclaimed that only she would ever get to peg Bruce.

She was then subsequently exiled from the general areas of the watchtower where the younger recruits could overhear her.

"We need to do two things," Dick said, having filled in for Bruce's absence. "First, we need to retrieve Batman. Second, we need to find a way to break through the defenses of the demonic lines. None of your physical weapons or energy blasts seem to have a lasting effect on them. And if we can't use technology or weaponry, we will need ot use magic."

"Well reasoned," Jason agreed, towering from his position behind Dick's chair, so that no one would dare undermine his brother's authority. "But we're a bit low on mages. Raven, Zatanna, Constantine, Etrigan, and Damian just won't cut it."

"I have communicated with my Moste Evile Grandmother in hell," Damian piped up from Dick's lap, as there weren't any more chairs to spare. "She says that while her forces are regaining power in hell, the battle on Earth is beyond her scope. She is busy executing those who opposed her reign-"

"What Dami means to say," Dick said shrilly, "is that there won't be any new forces to bolster Nox's troops from hell, but that we need a way to break the demons currently here if we want any chance of getting Bruce back."

"We need a weakness," Tim deduced quietly. "What is a demon's weakness?" He asked Raven.

"I," she said stiffly, "am not a mere Hell Demon. I am a True Demon of Azaroth, uncorrupted by the influence of Beelzebub. We were the first, and we will be the last. Damian, of course, is one of my own by the Rites of Apprenticeship."

There was a strained silence that followed. "...So, no dice?" Jason asked.

Raven huffed. "These nouveau demons are not like those I have dealt with before," Raven said. "They are the result of human souls long past that were corrupted by the original Beelzebub. They do not retain any of their humanity now - they are too far gone for that.

"They are only the very base things now - lust, for blood, for sex. Greed, for power, for sex. Gluttony, for power, for sex." Raven paused. "We should really get Bruce out of there."

"We need a new weapon to fight these abominations," Damian cried, as he transitioned from Dick's lap to Raven's.

Tim leaned back in his chair and hummed. "What is the antithesis of demons, the corrupt, and the very worst of human nature?"

Silence followed as everyone pondered over Tim's words. It was sharply broken by a cackle originating from none other than the Black Bat - Cass. Tim smiled at his sister, knowing that they were on the same wavelength.

"So Cass, what is our ultimate weapon against evil?" Tim singsonged.

Cass beamed. "Dick."

***

Meanwhile, in a dank bedchamber...

Bruce was feeling just about ready to stab a bitch, having been tied up and hung upside down from the ceiling and forced to listen to some ugly cow rant about his giant cock at Bruce.

"Has anyone told you that abduction is not the way into a man's heart?" Bruce drawled.

General Nox guffawed. "Such a sharp tongue you have, my heart. Truly, I will enjoy claiming it as my own."

Creepy fucker. "I can't wait for Jason to get his hands on you," Bruce grumbled. "Then we'll see about who's holding whose heart."

Nox let his knobbly, oblong tongue sneak out from between his lips, and suddenly Bruce felt very much like a hentai girl. Damn Tim for educating him about anime. "One day, my light," Nox whispered, "you will know me. And on that day..."

"I would rather eat my own intestines," Bruce said, aghast. "Just wait until my kids get their hands on you - that'll show you what for."

Nox smile cruelly. "I look forward to it. After all, I have heard of the eldest's beauty, and my own lieutenant is looking for a spouse. A fitting prize, no?"

Rage overtook Bruce, as he roared and pressed against his bonds. The pressure acivated the spikes built into his armour and ripped through his bindings. Anger was great, Bruce thought, as he clobbered his captor. Dick was always on about his high blood pressure and a healthy range of rage, but Bruce now had precedent on his side.

Seeing that he had beaten his captor past conciousness, Bruce grinned. He pulled his cowl tightly around himself, blending with the shadows, and opened the door to reveal- a maze of tunnels.

Yay.

Picking one, Bruce began his journey home to his family.

***

Only, no, Bruce was lost within ten minutes.

***

We now join the Wayne Collective and some JLU members in the Batcave, being regaled by Tim's ingenious plan.

"As was pointed out," Tim said, strutting across the slightly raised platform in the Batcave, that demons are nothing but corrupt, evil, entities. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that in order to defeat evil, we need: purity."

Here, Tim paused and grinned at the sheer simplicity of the solution.

"As my dear sister pointed out, our most unadulterated source of purity is none other than our dear elder brother, Dick," Tim continued. "And now, we come to the plan. I propose that we dunk Dick in some water, have him contaminate it with his fluff and niceness, and then use it to douse the demons."

Tim walked over to a curtain that was obsuring another part of the dias and pulled it aside to reveal Dick sitting in an inflatable pool wearing little else but speedos, and...a demon, who was sitting a little ways away from the pool.

"Do not panic, comrades," Tim said, "for this demon is one of ours. This is actually one of Damian's cousins from hell - one of his grandmother's - the Queen Shetiba's - descendants. May I have a round of applause for Anmerion the Evil?"

There was a smattering of applause, and the demon - who looked like a taller version of Damian, really - bowed. "I am honoured to be of assistance to my moste infernal human cousin and his quest to restore balance to hell and earth."

"I thank thee, cousin Anmerion," Damian replied somberly. "Let us commence with the experiment!"

"Step One," Tim narrated, "is to induce squee in the subject. That is to say, Dick. Jason, reveal the squee!"  
Jason brought out Terry, who was holding his hand and was dressed in a tiny tiger onesie. "Dada!" Terry cried cheerfully, waddling at full speed towards Dick.

Predictably, Dick burst into a ball of feelings, releasing a sparkly cloud from his pores, which seeped into the water surrounding him.

"More squee!" Tim demanded.

This time, Wally entered and joined Dick in the pool, and started to play with Terry. Dick exuded more of his cotton candy purity into the water.

"And now, THE FINAL SQUEE!" Tim cried.

Damian waddled into the room, dressed in Dick's original Robin outfit, scaly panties edition. "I feel ridiculous," he muttered sourly. "I simply cannot carry off the sequins, it's far too much for my tastes."

However, Damian's fashion sacrifice was enough for Dick to explode into his final form - a formless being of emotion and Love that was formerly known as Dick Grayson. Everyone screamed as the purity and love saturated the water, leaving Dick nowhere in sight.

"Dick!" Wally screamed, horrified.

"Grayson! No!"

"Dada!"

A few twinkly seconds later, the glitter and fluff coaslesced, and Dick reformed. "Wow, that was a trip," he beamed, as Wally, Terry, and Damian waded up to join him in a hug. "What did I miss?"

Jason, who was leaning against the wall, recovering from his shock, cleared his throat. "Oh, nothing much," he said weakly.

After checking that Dick was solid once more and fully reformed, Tim scooped up some of the Love saturated water and poured it on Anmerion's outstretched arm. Immediately upon contact, the demon's skin sizzled, and he yelped in pain.

"Success!" Tim crowed, as Cass bandaged the poor demon's arm. "We now have the ultimate weapon to defeat the demons and bring Bruce back!"

"Everyone, douse your weapons in Dick's Purity water, and let's get going," Jason said. "We've got a Bat to bring home."

***

Under the aerial assault of water balloons and the land brigade of JLU and Titans members who had imbued their weapons with Dick's Pure Water, the demon horde slowly but surely went down. Damian practically skipped into their headquarters, armed with a water gun and shouting for General Nox to face him.

"Come and face your doom, foul cretin!" Damian cried, flanked by his siblings. The remaining demon guards scattered at the sight of the vengeful child, leaving a bruised and batered Nox, courtesy of Bruce, to face the Bats alone.

It was a very short battle, which mostly consisted of Tim and Jason lobbing water balloons, Damian and Cass with waterguns, and Dick crying angry, love-filled tears for Bruce to the extent that the siblings had a constant source of ammunition.

"We have saved the world once more!" Damian sang happily as Nox finally fell, his corpse smoking slightly from the water eating away at his skin. "Now to find father!"

As it turned out, it was easier said than done, because Bruce had managed to get lost in the tunnels, and along the way, had the presence of mind to plant several explosives in his wake. When he stumbled upon his children, he saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

Literally. They had punched a hole through one of the walls, and the morning light was framing their silhouettes magnificently. "My children," Bruce whispered. "Is it over, then?"

Bruce's children surrounded him protectively, and Jason placed him in a bridal carry. "Yup, done and dusted. You alright, B?"

"T-tell me," Bruce said weakly, "does the Justice League still stand?"

"Um...yup."

"And Hal Jordan did not assume leadership after Clark's demise in trying to retrieve me?"

"Um, no? Why do you ask?"

"They dosed me with a modified fear toxin," Bruce grumbled. "I must have hallucinated for days. Oh children, I'm so glad to be gong home with you all."

"Speaking of home, we have to move the pools," Tim said.

"What pools?" Bruce asked.

No one answered, but they picked up the pace home nonetheless.

***

Behind them, the demon stronghold crumbled as a huge fireball consumed it from within.

***

The answer to the previous question, 'What pools?' was evident when they came back to the Batcave. Dozens of inflatable pools with cutesy designs littered the floor, thoroughly ruining the ambience that Bruce had worked so hard to cultivate.

For imagery's sake, there were several pools with tiny ducks toting beach towels as the thematic design.

"Why," Bruce asked, sadly.

"It was the master weapon," Tim explained. "We weaponized Dick's fluffy purity by dunking him in some water to saturate it."

"Oh," Bruce said. "Is that why it smells like lemon candy in here?"

"Probably. Dick can do this bomb-ass thing wherein he explodes into a loveball and then reforms into a human again, it's dope," Tim said. "The lingering smell is probably Dick's magical particles escaping and seeping into the rocks. Enjoy the new perfume, Bruce. It's Eau de Dick."

"Tim, no!" Jason chastized, and Dick smiled. He could always count on Jaybird to stick up for him. "How could you?" Jason demanded. "If you have to name this perfume, then surely your would call it..."

"Tell me Jay, what would you call it?" Tim asked, enthralled.

"...A Touch of Dick."

There was much 'booyah-ing' with chest bumps and high fives, while Dick shook his head in disappointment and chivvied Bruce into the medical wing to patch him up. Maybe there, there would be something that would numb the pain of fraternal betrayal also.

Once Bruce was taken care of and tucked into bed, Damian hopped up and snuggled up next to Bruce. Dick beamed and tucked Damian in as well, the mother in him unbelievably happy at the chance to smother two people with affection.

"Not that I'm not glad to have you, Damian," Bruce said, "but why the special treatment today?"

Damian looked up from his efforts to cocoon himself with the blankets, it was unbearably cute to see Damian in a blanket chrysalis with only his spiky little head poking out. "Why father, how clueless of you. I am here to soothe your night terrors, should they arise. An event such as an abduction is hardy easy on the psyche. Grayson taught me that there is no shame with wanting to be cared for in the aftermath of a horrbile situation. So here I am," Damian said, "helping."

Bruce smiled and patted Damian's head. "Thank you Damian, that's very wise of you. I'll endeavor not to roll over and squish you in your sleep."

"Many thanks," Damian nodded. "Goodnight, father."

Bruce watched his youngest sleep with a soft smile. He turned and caught Dick watching Damian with his own smile, and met Bruce's eyes. "I'm glad you're safe, B."

"Thank you for rescuing me," Bruce said, "even if you and your disaster siblings did carry out a campaign to shield your inherent magic from me for god only knows how long."

Dick giggled. "It's just something some people can do, Bruce, like curling your tongue."

"I would think that exploding into a infectious loveball is a great sight more impressive than being able to roll your tongue."

"Jason can't roll his tongue," Dick sniggered. "He can't whistle either."

"Still," Bruce grumped, "I reserve the right to be miffed about the campaign of secrecy. I should know things, I am The Dad! And no more intentional loveballing, understood! I won't have you disintegrating yourself in the name of love. What if you don't come bac-"

Bruce stopped and looked sadly at Dick. "What if you don't come back or reform? Dick, you can't take that risk. You have a child, you have a husband, a family. And I couldn't take it if I lost you."

"If only because no one will force fiber down his gullet at breakfast," Jason said, poking his head around the corner. Tim's head soon joined him. "Hey fam."

"Hi Jaybird," Dick giggled. "Where's Cass?"

"Bullying Alfie into taking his blood pressure meds. Wally is putting Terry to bed. Hey Bru-bru, you up for visitors tomorrow?"

"Er-"

"It's just Clark and Selina. Clark, so that he can make wibbly eyes at you, and then Selina, because she wants to heal you with the power of her frankly impressive collection of vibrators."

Bruce checked that Damian was sound asleep before growling at Jason, and saw that Dick was already on it, having placed his hands over Damian's ears. "How," he sniped, "are vibrators supposed to heal me?"

"Prostate stimulation based orgasms - or any orgasms - can lead to a decrease in tension and stress levels, if only temporarily," Tim supplied clinically.

"Stop says -those words- when there are delicate ears in the room!" Dick hissed shrilly.

"Jason's ears are disproportionately small for how big his head is," Tim observed.

Jason's tiny ears flushed in time with their owner's blush. "My ears are fine, think about your own tiny body parts," Jason growled.

"I am perfectly proprtioned," Tim said, gesturing grandly to his tiny body that was clad in a - for once - mini victorian nightgown, complete with frilly, sheer, robe over top.

"Oh yeah? Then why did you work so hard on your squats, huh?" Jason challenged. "Could it be that you're insecure about your small butt?"

"Sir, how dare you speak of my bum-bum!" Tim cried.

"It's small and has no definition," Jason said venomously.

Tim gasped, and removed the silk tie on his nightdown to slap Jason with. "Sir, you have caused me great affront this day! I shall hack your devices in the morn!"

"I look forward to it, Twink Supreme," Jason said, cracking his knuckles. "And after my own firewalls have defeated you, I will find you in your lair and administer several punches to thine miniscule rear!"

Tim squeaked determinedly, safe in the knowledge that he could obliterate Jason's admittedly pretty great firewalls. After all, he was Tim Drake, Nerdus Giganticus. Nothing would hold him back once he unleashed his true powers of prolific intelligence, tiny panties, and oodles of money.

Nonetheless, he waddled quickly over to Bruce to seek refuge under the covers, because Jason didn't actually have the patience to wait to punch him, as past experiences had proven time and time again. "Protect me!" Tim squeaked demandingly.

Bruce placed an arm over Tim. "You can stay here tonight, Tim," Bruce said.

Tim smiled smugly and like a pool noodle, wriggled over to lie between Bruce and Damian. Bruce watched, thinking that it was sweet of Tim to protect his little brother from the threat of being squished by Bruce.

"Goodnight boys," Bruce whispered. "Goodnight Cass," Bruce addressed the vent.

"Goodnight," Cass' voice echoed ominously.

"C'mon Jaybird," Dick said, snagging his little brother, "lets tuck Terry and Wally in."

"Dibs on Terry," Jason said quickly. "You can do your icky lovey role play with your ginger penetrator."

"Little Wing, no!" Dick cried, but too late, for Bruce had already heard and turned into a husk of a prune.

"Can't stop won't stop," Jason said, yeeting himself into Terry's nursery and subsequently trampling Wally.

Dick sighed and followed, but not before throwing flying kissies to Bruce, Tim, and Damian. (Damian got two).

Snug in bed, Bruce looked at Tim, whom he knew had spearheaded the entire plan to rescue him. Again.

"Thank you, Tim. For everything."

"Mention not," Tim said happily, placing thin cucumber slices on his eyes. In his avocado and lemon facepack and with the cucumber slices on his eyes, Damian would get a very rude surprise upon waking tomorrow, Bruce thought.

He closed his eyes and let sleep take him, looking forward for what the new day would bring.

***

TIMMY'S FASHION BLOG

In this fic, Timmy's wore

[Timmy's nightgown and robe set](https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Satin-Sleepwear-Piece-Nightgown/dp/B07DDCMQ5D/ref=sr_1_233?crid=21XU13M005M20&keywords=nightgown%2Band%2Brobe%2Bsets%2Bfor%2Bwomen&qid=1561446893&s=gateway&sprefix=nightgown%2Band%2Brobe%2B%2Caps%2C361&sr=8-233&th=1)


End file.
